Thank goodness... the MRI was normal. It's enough to have metastatic triple-negative breast cancer of unknown primary origin.
I'm going to come right out and say today has been a hard day. Yes, I received good news that there is no cancer in my spine. But, I've felt terrible all day. Rolling waves of nausea, bone pain, headache, and fatigue. I did some work until my fatigue took over. I slept all afternoon. I've had toast and ice cream. The only things that I thought I could keep down and sounded somewhat palatable. Every 6 hours I take Atavan and every 8 hours Zofran.
I talked with Michael today. That in itself was also upsetting. He had a growth hormone stress test on Monday. The results show his pituitary gland is quite damaged. We already knew this because his testosterone levels were so low. His growth hormone is low as well. Apparently he will need to get testosterone and growth hormone injections the rest of his life. Tonight, all of this is getting to me. How can he have this complicated brain injury and at the same time I have cancer?
I wish he was here to see the transformation of my bald head and lack of eyebrows. To hold my hand when I'm getting chemotherapy. To help me remember when to take my meds. In sickness and in health, right? But, there have been some complications along the way and that deal isn't working out. Clearly, I'm depressed. He is where he is supposed/needs to be. I'll just have to manage here. I know I have an overwhelming amount of support - and I'm thankful for it - I just simply wish he was home while I go through this. At the end of the day I'm lonely.
That being said, I'm emotional and tired. Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully without nausea and fatigue.
So happy to hear that the MRI was negative -- that must be such a relief for you. With all you've been going through, you deserve at least a little bit of good news!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how much harder this has all been for you without your husband home. It would be bad enough if he was simply traveling for work, but he's away dealing with a complicated medical issue of his own. Like I've said before, it's just not fair that you and your family have been dealt not one, but two, major medical issues. Good thing you're such a strong woman, Denise! Hang in there. Sending positive thoughts your way!
I am very, very happy the MRI was negative but I am so, so sorry and sure it is SUPER hard not to have your best friend and husband right beside you to encourage and give you hugs along the way.
ReplyDeleteI know you must wonder why your family must have one hit after another and I want to tell you something I once heard and I truly believe in...I know it is hard to believe and hear but GOD loves you and he knows your family is strong enough to make it through these things and keep going on :)