Chemo #5 difficulties

On October 4, 2011, I had my fifth chemotherapy treatment.  It was my first round with Taxol.  I was given the usual pre-chemo cocktail of Emend, Dexamethazone, Zofran, and Ativan.  This time I also received Benadryl and Pepcid to counteract allergic reactions that can happen with Taxol.  The reactions occur not from the Taxol itself, but the liquid the Taxol is suspended in.  I didn't have any reactions - but I did get very looped and groggy from the Benadryl, Zofran, and Ativan combination.  I had several wonderful visitors and finally told Jennifer and Sarah that I needed to drift off in sleep for a while.  We were there a total of six hours!  

I went back 24 hours later and received my Neulasta shot.  Yes, the $12,387 shot.  Fatigue had already set in. Nausea, not so much!  Thank goodness.  I went to an accupuncturist on Thursday to counteract some of the side effects.  My chief complaints were muscle and bone pain.  It was relaxing.  But, that evening, the bone and muscle pain were excruciating.  I was up most of the evening.  I called the cancer center on Friday morning and the oncologist wrote a prescription for a stronger pain med.  Barely able to walk, a friend picked up the script and delivered it to the house.  THANK YOU.  It takes the edge off, but barely.  It honestly feels like my bones are breaking.  My pelvic bones, my femur, tibia, and ankle bones.  I also have severe abdominal pains.  These are all listed as side effects for Taxol and Neulasta.  

Other side effects I'm having are extreme hot flashes and thrush, again.  I would classify the hot flashes more as a volcanic eruption.  My scalp gets SO HOT.  Beads of sweat drip off my head.  I have them during the day and night.  I'm fairly sure I'll have to replace our pillows once I'm done with treatment because they get soaked at night.  And then, freezing cold.  Not much sleeping of late.  

Still struggling, I called the oncologist on-call Saturday and explained the pain I'm experiencing.  He asked my age.  When I told him, he said it's likely my bone marrow is really mounting a strong fight to develop new blood cells and that is what is causing the pain.  He suggested I also take Ibuprofen with the narcotic medication.  

Conor and Olivia have been great.  Conor has made countless trips to the grocery store for me.  Others check on me daily knowing this round has been the hardest of all.  It makes me wonder what the next round will be like.  

Genetic Test Results Received

What a difference a day makes.

I posted last night about working a full day.  It really took a toll on me today.  Because I compare my cancer journey to a marathon, I had to come to terms with "pacing" myself better.  I've hit my head against this wall several times now.  I think I've finally learned the lesson.  I left work at noon and took a nap.  Then, I resumed some work from home.

During the afternoon I received a call from the Cancer Center.  My genetic tests were back and I tested positive for the BRCA2 genetic mutation.  I am shocked.  I had convinced myself because the original tumor cells were not breast cancer cells the genetic tests would be negative.  The nurse said I could come in to discuss the results with the oncologist or wait until my chemotherapy session next week.  I said that I would research it on my own and develop my list of questions for the appointment.  She said that's what they figured I would do.  They are awesome and know me well already.

Yes, I've done some research on it.  It has significant implications to be BRCA2 positive.  Women are at an 80% risk of getting breast cancer if they are BRCA2 positive. Well, I already have breast cancer so I fall within that statistic now.  The other implications are a much higher risk getting breast cancer in the other breast, ovarian cancer, and several other types of cancer.

According to the National Institutes of Health, men and women can test positive for BRCA2. their site says, "In addition to female breast cancer, mutations in one copy of the BRCA2 gene can lead to an increased risk of ovarian cancer, prostate cancer, pancreatic cancer, fallopian tube cancer, male breast cancer, and an aggressive form of skin cancer called melanoma. Mutations in the central part of the gene have been associated with a higher risk of ovarian cancer and a lower risk of prostate cancer than mutations in other parts of the gene."  Not very uplifting news.  


Many women that test positive for the BRCA2 genetic mutations opt for bi-lateral mastectomy and removal of their ovaries (oophorectomy).  I will discuss this further with the oncologist on Tuesday.  They indicated in an earlier appointment if the test came back positive I could go to the University of Utah to meet with genetic counselors.  Then I will have to make a final decision as to taking the surgical route to reduce my risk of getting cancer again.  I'm already leaning in this direction.  The decision can wait until after I'm done with chemotherapy and radiation.

The other upsetting factor that plays into this news is that there is a 50% chance my children and sister could have this genetic mutation.  We will look at that when the time is right.  Let's just keep funding cancer research and hope for additional success in screening and treatment - and A CURE so my children don't have to go through what I am now.

It's a lot to take in.  It's hard to not be upset after receiving this news.  I'll just let it sink in and educate myself about my options.

Rebecca Rusch and Thrush - August 26, 2011

I was able to go to work for six hours today!  Nausea and all.  I wanted to push through because I had plans for the evening and didn't think I should go if I wasn't strong enough to put in some time at work.

After work, I took a two hour nap.  When I woke up, my tongue was painful.  I looked at it in the mirror and it was solid white.  I called a friend and she confirmed what I thought it probably was "thrush."  I called my dentist and he called in an anti-fungal rinse for my mouth.  It hurts so I use my magic mouthwash with it.  Just another sign my immune system is being bombarded by chemotherapy.

Idaho's own Rebecca Rusch!  Inspirational for me!

On to the evening's festivities.  Dr. Fahim Rahim and Barrie's Sports brought Rebecca Rusch to Idaho State University for the showing of Race Across the Sky II.  I was certainly in need of some motivation!  Get this, I took my "are you terminal" hat with me and had her sign it!  It now says, "You are Amazing ~Rebecca Rusch."  I should have told her about the woman who asked me if I was terminal.  Now, I'll wear that had with pride.  Rebecca has won the Leadville 100 mountain bike race the last three years.  She calls herself "The Queen of Pain."  I've followed her for the last three years.  She is a force!  She said riding 100 miles or 24-hours is all in the mind.  Your body can do the work if your mind believes it can.  That almost brought me to tears.  Just the inspiration I needed to hear after having quite a few hard days after Tuesday's chemo session.

Thrush, bone pain, nausea, sores in my throat and stomach, hair loss, extreme fatigue....cancer....I can mentally make the shift to mentally believe the chemotherapy is doing its work.  It might tear me down, but I will get back up again.

But for now...back to bed.

Lump 7/26/2011

My memory is a bit scattered lately, but I think I wrote last week about finding a lump in my axilla/armpit.  I had it checked and it was thought to be scar tissue from the July 7th surgery.

Luckily, the surgeon's office called me late this afternoon to see how I was doing.  If I was doing okay, the surgeon was suggesting I wait to have the stitches taken out on Monday when I have surgery to have the port placed by my clavicle.  I voiced my concern about my lump and the woman said to just keep the appointment tomorrow.  She said it's possible the surgeon would opt to biopsy the lump on Monday while I have surgery.    


Tonight when I got home and changed into something more comfortable, I looked in the mirror and I can see the lump.  It just seems too big and yes, I'm worried.  I guess for the rest of my life any time I find a lump it's something to be concerned about and reason to have it checked right away. I'm thankful I will see the surgeon tomorrow.  


While I'm extremely anxious about starting chemotherapy next week, I hope that this issue doesn't keep me from starting that treatment.  I want chemo to kill the cancerous cells.  My sister asked me today "what exactly does chemotherapy do?"  Very good question!  (I will get to radiation later in my treatment.)


According to the National Cancer Institute, "Chemotherapy works by destroying cancer cells; unfortunately, it cannot tell the difference between a cancer cell and some healthy cells. So chemotherapy eliminates not only the fast-growing cancer cells but also other fast-growing cells in your body, including hair and blood cells."*


I've had what is known as adjuvant therapy.  The tumor and cancerous lymph nodes were removed prior to starting chemotherapy and radiation.  In some instances, people have neoadjuvant therapy.  Chemotherapy is started first and the remaining cancer is surgically removed after chemotherapy has been completed.  


Enough stressing about the new "development" under my arm!  On to positive thoughts!


I have had visits from friends and family lately that have been so UPLIFTING!  Thank you!  I now have a new way of thinking when I wake up in the morning, thanks to my sister, Andrea. I told her it's still surreal that I have cancer.  I wake up every morning and have maybe a minute of peace and then it hits me again...I have cancer.  One cancer survivor I know said you never really get over that .  But, my sister said every morning I need to wake up and think something like "this is the day the cancer is getting smaller."  A positive affirmation the cancer will go AWAY.  


I also had a wonderful visit with my Dad last night on the phone.  While we are hoping for the BEST possible outcome, he offered to move back Pocatello and help take care of me/Michael.  (For those of you who are new to the site, my husband is a soldier and has a brain injury from bomb blasts in Iraq.)  That meant the world to me.  Thanks, Dad and Ellie.


Off to listen to make some dinner and meditate before going to bed! 


*Chemotherapy and you. National Cancer Institute. Updated May 2007. NIH Publication No. 07—7156. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/chemotherapy—and—you.pdf. Accessed May 12, 2010.