'Twas the Night Before Chemo

This is my first attempt at poetry in years and years. I'm not promising anything grand. Simple rumblings as I typed along.

'Twas the night before my last chemo,
and all through the house,
The kitties and I were stirring quietyly through the house.

Tomorrow I'll finish the eighth and final chemo,
Much to the beasts dismay.
The cancer cells have been punished,
With caustic chemo cocktails for a lengthy 13 weeks.

I'm anxious and ready to finish the task.
This is the first phase of the treatment.
Next phase,
Radiation daily for at least six weeks.
"X" marks the spots where cancer was found.
Gamma rays will fry the little monsters and I'll happily bid them adieu.

The final phase is to take precautionary measures to ensure my success.
Surgeries, diet, and exercise are my plan,
For an greater prognosis as I was told by the man.

When will I feel myself again?
Notice I didn't say "normal,"
I think cancer creates a different kind of normal for a cancer survivor.

When will I have a full head of hair, and what color will it be? Fuzz has sprouted! Joy!
When can I run again with sweat on my brow? When will my brow show itself again?
I look to the day when energy returns, it left me several weeks ago.

I hoped to go to sleep with visions of remission dancing in my head.
A prescribed steroid has other plans this night; complete sleeplessness.

With a cumulative force; each treatment has become increasingly worse.
I'll likely brave this final round with teary eyes and a body in pain,
silently screaming for relief.

These are the times I live one moment at a time. Nausea, thrush, weakness, fatigue, depression, displacement of food, and misplacement of my mind. Such are the wonders of chemo.

I will endure the last treatment, now in just five short hours.
With hopes the last aggressive cells are targeted and destroyed

I look ahead for happier times.
When cancer isn't the first thing I think of first in the morn.
When fear doesn't paralyze me, but becomes the catalyst to force me to become even stronger.