It seems to be the case for me. One great day is followed by days of difficulty. I'll admit. I'm really struggling with depression right now. I'm also still really battling back spasms. I actually compare them to contractions in my back from my hips to the back of my neck. I had them all day Friday and they have not subsided. I have chemotherapy tomorrow so I'll bring it up with the oncologist again. The MRI didn't show any cancer, but I wonder if it is a side effect from chemo. I can barely breathe when they happen. It's scary.
I've been in bed all weekend. I finally made myself to get up in order to get a few more school clothes for Olivia. And going to a BBQ this evening at my sister's. Otherwise, I'd still be in bed. Knowing I have chemo tomorrow doesn't help. My Dad and Ellen are going with me. They live in Utah, but will be here for the week are will accompany me. That will help.
I know I'm depressed. I've talked to the Cancer Center staff about it. It's the situation. Missing Michael. Feeling lonely. I just need to pull up my boot straps and get through this.
Considering everything you're dealing with, how could you not be depressed, Denise?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you're able to discuss it with the staff at the cancer center, but has your doctor/PA/NP talked about counseling and/or trying an anti-depressant medication? There's no shame in using medicine to help, and sometimes that's what it takes. Of course your main goal right now is taking care of your physical health, but maintaining your mental/emotional health is an important (and often ignored) part of your overall well-being. Let me know if you want to talk more about this in a more private setting! :)
HMMMMM... I cannot imagine why in the world you would be dealing with depression...I mean everything has just been peachy keen for you....right :)
ReplyDeleteRemember back to our school days and the 5 dimensions of health....try to keep all of those in order and don't be to hard on yourself. Also it is great that you have wonderful people to talk to and give you strength.
I agree with the above post...never, never forget your mental and emotional health, very, very important.
Keep a look out for a package coming to the health department for you from Springfield VA.